Okay, story time.

My dad was a gambler, a drinker, and just genuinely a lot — hot-tempered, always insulting people, throwing the ugliest language at my mom and siblings you can imagine. My brother caught the temper too, and honestly my sister and mom did their own versions of it. But on the flip side, my mom and sister gave me all their love — they’d have thrown themselves in front of anything if they thought it was putting me in danger.

I came into the world extremely weak — total plot twist compared to my brother and sister. They were born when the family actually had money for proper nutrition, but by the time my mom was pregnant with me, that money was gone. She still worked herself to the bone right up until she nearly gave birth. And I was born silent. No crying. Didn’t react to anything until I was like 2 or 3 — they genuinely thought something was wrong with my brain. Then at 4 years old, they taught me to read and write in two weeks flat. My mom took me to a drawing class with other kids around then, and I became the teacher’s favorite because I could already read, write, and follow every instruction fluently. Didn’t last though — we ran out of money again.

Growing up was just never a happy-family-sitcom situation, thanks to my dad’s temper. He insulted everyone, constantly. My mom reacted aggressively right back. She wouldn’t divorce him for religious reasons, so I just… retreated. Comics, books, stories, the internet, scouts — my own little world where nobody could reach me. Even after my dad passed from diabetes (he smoked, drank, and basically ignored every health rule there is), I was still the one covering the bills and carrying the family through it till the end. To this day I’m still the one people lean on — not because of what I’ve achieved, but because everyone finds their calm when they come to me.

Scouting was a huge part of my childhood, and it’s where I picked up kindness, honor, responsibility, pioneering, bravery, and friendship as actual values — not just words. We don’t betray our friends, especially not for something cheap, and we don’t leave the weak behind just because they’re annoying or going through it. A true friend of mine would call me highly intelligent, passionate, fun, poetic soul, silly, stoic, a lone wolf, brave, kind, always positive, never-give-up energy, accommodating, and protective of the weak, with the willpower to push through pain, both physical and mental — around 18, my platelet count dropped to about 40 and I had to get a bone marrow test done without any sedation, no complaints. And yeah, that’s exactly the standard I hold the people in my circle to — loyalty and basic human decency aren’t negotiable to me. That’s not a preference, it’s just my values.

But also — plot twist part two — relying on others has never really been my default setting. Like, I love my nakamas, I’d go to war for them, but sometimes you just gotta main-character your own arc solo for a bit. Not because people fail you, just because independence is its own skill and someone’s gotta be the one nobody has to worry about.

Underneath all of it though, I’m just a young, fun, generous soul with way too much humor for my own good — someone who refuses to let a heavy past take away the ability to laugh, enjoy life, and give freely to the people around me.

Honestly, part of why I’m putting this on the internet is simple — you get to write the history, or rewrite whatever version already exists in people’s memory. Once it’s out here, in my own words, it’s not up for reinterpretation by anyone else.

the solo-quest nakama clause